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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Avoiding Orange Stripped Formal Wear

So, I'm hoping my blog doesn't get shut down and a lawsuit or injunction slapped on me after today.  This wonderfully accessible world that we live in today can often make you sit up and go - Huuumm, is that legal?

I spent about an hour trying to figure out what image copyright is as it applies to pictures from the internet.  I'm not an artist or a photographer - can't even manage to be the subject of a photo and be happy - much less compose a background and subject matter effectively enough to enter even the smallest of small country fair art shows.  So, I would like to use images from the internet to spice up my blog.  Particularly this blog I'm getting ready to post once I stop rambling about technicalities and legalities.  But am I risking jail time?  I hope not. I've got a long list of things I'll do jail time for - a dress is not one of them.

Cutting to the chase...

I have an event to attend in March that is probably going to require a new dress.  I'm not yet sure if it's going to be cocktail attire, old school church attire or  full blown junior prom attire.  Personally, I'm hoping and praying that it ends up being junior prom time all over again.  Unlike junior prom, there will certainly be no bad date or awkward moment where a corsage gets pinned to my chest drawing attention not only to my underdeveloped sense of ease around men as well as the underdevelopment of my breasts by the age of 16.  To clarify, it's not that my breasts ever developed much past the age of 16, I just won't be wearing a corsage to this event. 


So, as each ethereal dress floated by, I literally became a teenager again, imagining myself in each and every one.  Luckily, I always float back to reality and remember, I'm not 16 anymore.  I don't need a dress that swathes me in tight strips of fabric identified as "bandages" and as I've lifted 3 children and 1 grandchild like free weights for the past 20+ years, I'm not partial to spaghetti straps.  The rest, those of you who know me may be able to help me with.  I am looking forward to your feedback on these dresses.

Here are my choices so far, all from Neiman-Marcus and only one or two included that are absolutely, positively out of my price range.  While looking at these dresses online, I did actually find myself pondering the morality and legality of another issue.  Can I buy a $12,000 dress and just tuck the tag into my sleeve until the next day??  Since I decided I could not morally or legally justify that I would have to find some way to catapult myself to fame overnight and have some designer eager to loan me a dress.  Unfortunately, every viable option I have for that hurdle would inevitably result in some type of criminal charge which would preclude me from attending the event at all.  A real catch 22.

Dress 1
Dress 2

Dress 3

Dress 4

Dress 5

Dress 6

Dress 7

Dress 8

Dress 9

Dress 10

Dress 11

Dress 12

Dress 13

Dress 14

Dress 15
Dress 16


Monday, February 18, 2013

Approaching the Gates...

A little background for those of you who do not know anything about me...

I'm a yellow-dog democrat, mother of three, grandmother of three,  long separated, not yet divorced, motherless, bi-racial woman child of the South. 

And that's just a collection of words. Pieces of the English language that simply give a first, if not momentary, glimpse at the pieces which have shaped and formed me into a person not easily explained by any structure of the English language.  In totality, I am whole and unique, not categorized or categorize-able by any sentence that can be typed in the 15 minute coffee break I use to write this opening.